Overfollowing!

It's really true what everyone has said - now that I have three kids I get the "My, you have your hands full!" comments. But I would like to dispute this statement! I do NOT have full hands - they are OVERFLOWING!

However, not with children, but with blessings. And it's not my hands that runneth over, but my cup. For a what seemed like a very looooong time in my life I didn't think I'd have the blessing of multiple children. I was so happy with Corrie - she had me at hello and all - but we really where sad at the idea of not having any more kids. So, as far as offspring goes, God filled my cup with Corrie. When God saw fit to give us Jamie and Dannie, my cup ran over! 

As parents we face hard times and frustrations and overwhelming moments and overwhelming stretches. But blessings come with a price because of the fallen world we live in. Working isn't fun, but it's a blessing to have a job. Being rich is a blessing, but also a huge responsibility and constant exercise in discipline and discernment. But, for me, nothing compares in regards to the risk/reward ratio than to being a parent. 

God blessed us with our children and I'm amazed constantly at the awe and love that pours out of me because of them. At the same time, being a mom has been the biggest hurdle in my life! It's true - I really do have my hands full in the physical sense! I also have this pain in my neck . . . :) But the bigger the responsibility - the more I have to work at taming my flesh - the further I have to stretch myself spiritually - the longer I have to endure . . . equals the bigger the blessing.

I welcome this challenge - I'm here to stay through alllllll the difficulties - because I know that the more God trusts me with the more I'll benefit from it in the long run if I walk in His ways. I'm coming to see the beautiful blessings that come with raising up the children God's given us and I just couldn't possibly be happier to have my hands full.

Epic Fail = Epic Savior

"He's not a human being," she retorted, "and he had no claim on my charity. I gave him my heart, and he took it and pinched it to death, and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him; and I would not, through he groaned from this to his dying day, and wept tears of blood for Catherine! No, indeed, indeed, I wouldn't!" 

- Isabella, Wuthering Heights

Unfortunately, there was a time when I could understand these sentiments very well. Young ladies have such a beautiful, heart-wrenching way of putting things when they've been discarded and hurt by the person they've given their love to. I felt this exact way when I was 17 and I continued to struggle with forgiving one particular person for many years after I'd long been forgotten by him. As years went by I could tell I hadn't forgiven fully because I didn't hope good things for him - it was actually quite the opposite. It's true what I've heard - that it hurt me more than it did him! I didn't have the power within me to feel anything but undiluted hatred towards him. I didn't have the power - but I knew where I could get it from. 

I finally learned that if God can love me, knowing who I am at heart - someone capable of such hatred - then He could give me the strength to not only forgive, but to wish well; to pray for my enemy, his salvation, and a blessed life. It's only God Himself who could bring me to this level of forgiveness and it's God who has gotten me as far as I am today. There were quite a few phases to get through, from a 17-year-old teenage girl wishing her ex-boyfriend to burn in hell, to only having bile rise up in my throat at his memory, to actually hoping he finds his right path to Jesus. It's still a bit hard to imagine worshiping the Lamb in Heaven one day with him if he does find that path . . . but I am a pilgrim in progress after all!

It's taken a long time to figure out where I went wrong - how the whole situation could have been avoided. I knew the second he left me that I'd taken the wrong path, but exactly where did the path fork? Although there were many areas I went wrong in this situation, I believe it was when I decided to give my heart away in the first place. The heart wouldn't be damaged if it had been kept, treasured, protected, and most importantly, entrusted to God. He knew what was best to do with my heart but I insisted on caring for it myself. I only got it broken - so to speak. 

As a result of my bad choice I ended up bringing something damaged and second-hand into my marriage - instead of something pure, whole, and new. Somehow we kid ourselves into thinking we can build a lasting marriage on broken pieces. Thankfully God had a plan to restore what was demolished long before I ever screwed up!

I don't like to remember my past because it was such a sinful time - this pilgrim was off her path. And I knew I was off the path; I tried to be off the path; I could look around and see where the path was and I conscientiously and purposefully walked in the opposite direction of the right path. That's who I am - you'll never catch me justifying my sin - I know when I sin! To put it in a nutshell: I was disobedient and rebellious - completely on purpose. Quite the prodigal daughter. (And my parents always took me back - just like in the parable- a sentiment worthy of it's very own blog entry some day!) But one of the many things that's so awesome about God is that He will take the bad things and use them for good. So, as much as I don't like to "reminisce" about my past, I'm so thankful that I've been able to move past the shame of it. I'm not happy with the decisions I made but I'm very happy that God's given me a heart to share it with others so that they may learn from it. That's the beauty from my ashes.

I'm also very happy to no longer be able to identify with Isabella! She's kinda a freak . . . but so was I. Who am I kidding, I still am.

"You can't get free of something shameful keeping it a secret . . . "

"I'm not telling the truth to hurt anybody. I'm telling the truth to get free. And I'm telling the truth to remind me there are wolves afoot. I'm telling it so I will remember to be a smarter sheep. I'm not keeping any more wolves' secrets. I'm going to stick closer to the shepherd, And if a wold tries to bite me, or just get close to me, I'm going to open my mouth wide and bleat. 'baa! baa! baa!' I'm singing so I will learn to be a smarter sheep. I'm singing my truth song 'cause someone's going to need to hear it, someone coming behind me is going to need to hear it so she or he can be strong."

"It would be wrong of me to deceive you, to tell you that changing is easy. Cutting that disease away from your soul is painful . . It takes great courage . . But the man or woman who has the courage to do it, to change, that man or woman can be made whole . . We can choose to be courageous people. We can choose to stand, to fight against what is wrong inside ourselves. We can choose to be made whole."

- Abraham's Well

I'm Bored!

Recently some may have seen on my facebook status that we're cutting waaaaaay back on tv in the Elliott house. What was surprising (as well as an answer to prayer) is that it was James' idea. If I've learned anything over these ten years of marriage it's that I can't force James to do what I want (no matter how right I am) - and if I try, it goes very poorly, to say the least! So he had this great idea and I was totally on board with it.

So we've been fairly sucessful with the cutting back of the tv viewing. It's been a treat instead of an entree! From day one I knew that we'd need to figure out SOMETHING to fill the time that we spent watching tv. So I made a list. It's a list of stuff for kids to do that doesn't not involve a screen - and, honestly, that I don't necessarily have to be involved in myself. I was telling a couple mom friends about this list and they wanted a copy for their house. I suppose that's not too surprising - I know nothing stumps me more than when Corrie constantly comes up to me asking to watch tv and I tell her to go do something else and she says "What am I supposed to do? There's nothing to do! It's boring here!" And so, after I smack her around to buy time to think of something for her to do . . . . I came up with the list.

I thought I'd post the list up here so that anyone that may be interested would know how to entertain my kids when you watch them for free . . . or for your own kids. Whatever. Some things are specific to us Elliotts so I'll either tweek it for the general masses or provide an explanation. Here we go!

1. Moon Dough (or play dough).
2. Coloring
3. Read
4. Barbies
5. Board Game
6. Go Outside
7. Daddy's Toys (James sells action figures on ebay and sometimes lets the kids play with his inventory.)
8. Blocks
9. Stuffed Animals (I don't know about your kids, but mine can be pretty imaginative with their stuffed animals)
10. Laptop (They have one of those from the toy section that has activities on it - I guess it's a screen - oh well)
11. Plastic Food Toys
12. Picnic (I give them their lunch boxes with a snack and drink in them and they take a blanket somewhere - inside or out)
13. Make a Fort (like with sheets over the kitchen table or on the bunkbed)
14. Viewmaster
15. Sidewalk Chalk
16. Cut Grass (we give them child safety scissors and they literally cut the grass by hand - they get about a square foot done per hour)
17. Spirograph
18. Listen to Music (she has a cd player in her room)
19. Superheros (includes playing with their superhero toys or dressing up and acting like superheros)
20. Dress ups
21. Dry Erase Board
22. Look in the Art Cabinet (only works if you're a craft supplies nut like me and have an entire cabinet of craft crap)
23. Make up Stories
24. Take a Walk
25. Exercise (Corrie likes to put a walking dvd in a do it sometimes - she's weird)
26. Cut up Cards (I save cards I get in the mail for the kids to cut up - sorry if this offends anyone that's sent me a card - I save the ones that have sentimental messages . . .)
27. Measure Stuff (they both like to play with our tape measure)
28. Take Pictures (Corrie got a camera for her birthday - or your kids can use yours if they're old enough to not throw it or drool on it)
29. Chores (she has a reward chart for voluntarily doing certain chores so I thought this could be a legitimate idea of something for her to do)
30. Magnets (we have a ton on the fridge and we have those magnet toy sets where you can dress people up and stuff)
31. Train Set
32. Paint Nails
33. Balloons (I have a bag of balloons that I'll blow one up for each of them every once in a while - cheap and awesome toy)
34. Hide n Seek
35. Musical Chairs
36. Play School
37. Copy Artwork (we have a bunch of art books as well as cheap art prints on our walls - Corrie's shown a lot of aptitude for making her own renditions)
38. Write a Letter (Snail Mail! To a grandparent, aunt/uncle, cousin, friend)
39. Big Paper Roll (we have a big roll of paper that I cut off enough to cover the coffee table and tape it underneath the ends and let them "color on the table")
40. Cards in the white box (I have a box FULL of kid cards - abc's, numbers, sight words, go fish, and tons more)
41. ABC Bingo/Time Bingo (I think I got these sets at the dollar section of Target - I do whoever wins get two pieces of candy and everyone else gets one)
42. Bible Verse (read it, copy it, memorize it)
43. Dance Party (put on music in kids room, let them dress up for a party and dance around)
44. Seashells (we have a good number of shells from my parents and our trip and they like to "organize" them)
45. Bible Study (something we'd do as a family with a book my dad got us for Christmas - or could just read a Psalm or something together)
46. Leaf Reliefs (where you put paper over a leaf and color over it and it makes the indentation)
47. Make a Superhero (Corrie has a special notebook where she invents superheros. ex: Pizza Man - he has breadstick nunchucks and superspeed and peperoni discs to throw . . .)
48. Puppet Show (they can make puppets, which Corrie's done, and we also have finger puppets that I got from Ikea)
49. Fashion Show (she can dress herself up or her Barbies and take pictures of the outfits - it's a combo of taking pictures and playing dress up/Barbies)
50. Store (aka "The Walmart Game" - get out the Monopoly money and some random things from around the house to put in the store and buy and sell stuff.)
51. Make a Band (we have the $1 recorders you get from Walmart, a crappy keyboard, a fisher price guitar, a harmonica, use whattcha got! I make them stay in their room for this one - it's really loud)

I have 51 items because it happened to fill up two columns of a standard piece of notebook paper almost perfectly. I'm sure I'll come up with more ideas - like the next time I'm bored! 

In case it's not obvious, the theme of the pictures is "kids doing things besides watching tv."